Danny's Dossier: The Diary of an Undergraduate Playboy.
EPISODE TWO: SAVING THE FIRST FOR THE LAST
Oh my Gawd! A lot of things happen after you kiss a girl for the first time. The sensation the first kiss gives is different and you can’t achieve it again with the second kiss, or the third. No, not again. Lest you embark on another “operation first kiss” with another girl, you can’t get that fleeting sensation again. The point is every first kiss is memorable and different – at least for the most of us. Hell! I still remember my every first kiss *winks*.
More often than not, most people are so overwhelmed by the first kiss – no matter how fleeting it was – that they usually misconstrue the sensation to falling in love. Well, I wouldn’t blame them. Even the best among us is guilty of this cardinal F—ck Up. So you will understand my chagrin when a fellow Pure Player and close friend rushed into my room and confessed that he is in love with a girl, simply because they just had their first kiss together. Fiam!
This is unacceptable. What is it with girls and kisses. What is it with guys and kisses too. I have met many guys who told me that their first kiss with a girl is even more gratifying than their first time together in bed! Funny as it sounds, it’s like that with me. And what is even worse is that some girls will gladly have sex with you without the kisses. But I wouldn’t want to dwell on that. I had a remarkable encounter with a remarkable girl last week.
Her name is Clara. We met at one of those places where good girls hang out on every campus. I’m not gonna tell you, yes you. So I went to that place, not because I was in the mood for “Hunting” but because I just wanted to chill. And nothing cools me down faster than being surrounded by books. So there I was having a feel of the place. (For those of you who are smart, you already know where the place is… and for those who are not, Damn! It’s the Library. That’s where the cool chicks hang out).
I went to the psychology shelves and picked a book that seemed like something worth my time. Then I went to my usual spot – the isle between two close shelves. I like the place because all you see are books and more importantly, I love the reek of old books that surround me. I sat down, dug into the book. Moments later, there was this shadow cast over my book. Then it was followed by the soft screech of a chair. Someone was sitting down across my table but I wasn’t looking up. Then there was this fragrance that enveloped me. It was a girl. I looked up!
Sitting across the table from me was the most gorgeous girl I had seen in a very long time. She has a very smooth-shinny ebony skin. Her nose was decidedly pointed and her lips pout as she looked into the book she was reading. “Kumar and Clark” .This is serious. She is everything any man could dream of. Her phone beeped then she inserted her earphone. “Hello! I’m in the library, I’ll call you later…. (Pause)… “Reading of course… (Pause)… “Don’t worry. I’ll call you as soon as I’m through here”
She finished the call, switched off her phone and removed the earphone from her blouse. I saw a quick view of her cleave in the process. I was mesmerized. I began to think of how to open a line of conversation. But I got lucky, she spoke to me first.
“I’m sorry about that” she apologized, pointing at her phone. “I shouldn’t have picked the call in here. Thanks for not ratting me out”
“It’s ok. A ringing phone needs to be answered (A line I borrowed from the movie “Phone Booth” with that sexy guy like me, Collin Farell)…especially if it is an over-protective boyfriend calling”.
She didn’t say anything. She just continued with her book. Well, that’s how you know an academic girl. We will continue the conversation later. She’s too engrossed now and aware of distractions, aware enough to resist it. If I probed further, that’s exactly what I’ll be – a distraction, an annoying one at that. So I played low and made a show of continuing with my interesting book. See, the good thing about getting a girl in the library is that it is both challenging and very-very interesting. It takes skills (which with all modesty, I possess in abundance *winks*)
I sat there for the next two hours waiting for the right time to make my move. I have read about certain reptiles in the Jungles of Africa who would wait motionlessly poised for hours watching their prey and waiting for the right time to pounce. Some crocodiles could remain in one spot for days while watching their prey. The prey after seeing it their on the same spot starts to think it’s just a dead log of wood in the water and gets careless. Well that day, I was the predator and my prey was sitting there, two and a half feet across from me. And like the predator in Africa, I was prepared to wait. I was waiting for a sign. A green light. So I can make my move. I was waiting for a sign that she’s tired or needs a distraction. At this point, any sign will do – repetitive yawning, fidgeting with her nails, looking here and there or my all time favorite, dozing. But none was forthcoming. She was too engrossed in her Kumar and Clark.
Then again, I got lucky. She spoke to me. “What time is it, please?”
“I have no idea”, I answered. “I try not to worry about time when I’m in here”.
She picked her phone and switched it on. She looked at the screen and said “It’s two-twenty-five, time has gone o” she exclaimed
I smiled “But you’ve made pretty good use of your time.” She stifled a yawn, stretched. That was my sign. I took the cue.
“I’m gonna ask you a question” I began “It’s not a question actually… It’s more of an offer” I paused for effect. She didn’t say anything but there was a question in her eyes. She was interested. So I continued.
“The problem is, I don’t know if I should ask nonetheless cos I already know your answer will be No”
“That means you’re asking for the impossible” she said. I have her full interest now. So I pounced
“On the contrary, I was wondering if you will take a break and let me buy you a drink? I said teasingly.
“Since you believed I was going to say no, I wouldn’t want to disappoint you. Would I?” she said smiling.
“I’ll take that as a yes” I responded. “So where would you like to go?” I said, as I got up. She picked her phone, and stretched. Seeing her body, full-length made by blood boil. She was perfection. Such a beauty! We left the library and went to the cafeteria. As we entered the cafeteria, she switched on her phone. No sooner had she done that, her phone started beeping. Six beeps in all. I was guessing they were text messages. We settled down at a quiet corner. She asked me to order for her as she read through her messages. A frown caught her face. It was so fleeting, almost like it had never been there. Soon, she became another person entirely. She lost the bookish aura and gained this sweet charming, fun-loving girl attitude, for what seemed like an hour. We drank and gisted like we’ve known each other since forever.
Something remarkable happened while we were at the cafeteria. Her phone rang and when she picked, she was speaking in a hushed tone.
“I told you I was in the library…… (Pause)….. That’s why I switched off now” she said, sounding irritated .
“I’m still in the library…. I told you I will let you know when I finish here”…. (Pause)… “You are so unbelievable!” she snapped, then hung up.
I looked at her and asked. “Was that your boyfriend?” She didn’t say anything. “I thought as much”, I said with a scoff.
“How did you know that? That it was my boyfriend” she finally responded
“It’s in your voice signature” I answered back.
“Voice signature?”
“Yeah. Girls have a similar way of responding to an annoying boyfriend. In fact you just sounded like my ex”
“Your ex?” I kept quiet; fumbling with the little that was left of my drink.
“Can we leave this place? I won’t want him to meet us here?”
“So, where would you like to go? Obviously, you can’t return to the library. You are in no shape to assimilate anything. Definitely not Kumar and Clark” she smiled.
“So you took interest in what I was reading” she said. I could sense the tease in her voice.
“I took interest in everything about you from the moment you sat across me” I countered. Now flirting
“So what else did you take interest in about me?” I made a show of thinking about it, then smiled.
“I’ll tell you about it when next we meet, but then, you haven’t answered my question. Where would you go from here?”
“Frankly, I don’t know” She sighed “but I know I don’t want to go home or return to the library. Obi (the annoying boyfriend I assumed) might just come looking for me. And a confrontation with him is the last thing I need now” she looked disturbed now.
“You can come home with me” I said, dismissively but was shocked when she agreed almost as if she had been waiting for me to ask.
“Wait for me at the cloakroom, while I get my stuff.”
I liked where this was going. I can’t believe I was nearing a perfect score. I didn’t want to get my hopes high. She could change her mind at the very last minute. Girls are like that. Also she is very vulnerable now that she’s having man-trouble. As a pure player, I know taking advantage of her violates certain ethics. But then, you don’t get a score like this often.
She joined me at the cloakroom as she suggested and I couldn’t have been happier. I made a mental note of how I left my room in the morning. It was neat and tidy – everything at its right place.
And once we were outside the library, she asked
“Where do you stay?”
“The second gate.” I answered. The second gate is a student residential area for middle class students. I moved there at the end of last session.
“I have a couple of friends there.” She said.
“Really?, we can check on them while we’re there” I offered.
“No, Don’t want them snooping around. Gossip flies faster than you think”
I led her out of the library in awkward silence. We began walking towards the East exit. Then she edged me towards the west exit.
“Let’s go to the student parking lot” she said
“What’s happening there” I asked sarcastically
“I brought a car.” She announced. There was a noticeable amusement in her voice
“I see”. I chipped in, trying not to sound amused.
“We boarded her car. It was a small Civic coupe”
I was silent as I watched her drive. She drove with such accomplished ease and grace. She made driving look so sexy. I broke the silence.
“I like your ride. You guys look alike”
“What do you mean?” she asked smiling.
“You are both cute and sexy” I answered. She laughed hysterically. She took her eyes off the road for a moment and looked at me.
“I kinda like you” If I was taken aback, I didn’t let it show. She continued “There is something different about you” she said, facing the road again.
I chuckled. “If I don’t know better, I’ll think you are hitting on me”. She said as she laughed again, and the cabin lit up.
“Are you hitting on me?” she continued laughing. Even more vigorously now. So much that she slowed down and packed.
“You’re different. Most guys feel intimidated around me”.
“I’ll take that as a compliment”, I said.
“And most guys don’t make me laugh like this. I haven’t been this light for a long time” she said, her tone dropping.
“Why do I get the feeling that you are making a mental comparison of me and your boyfriend?” She steered back unto the road. We were silent with me giving her occasional directions until we got to my place.
My house is a four bedroom bungalow with self-contained rooms and a parlor that opens up to a wide veranda. There was nobody at home. The door was locked. I brought out the keys from my pocket and looked at my time. It was 3:45pm. They must all still be in school.
“Do you live alone?” she asked. There was something about the question. It means many things depending on who is asking. In this case, I could narrow it down to just two.
“Yes I do. That is my room”
I switched on the light as we entered the room. She crossed to the other side of the room and picked a magazine from the stack beside the bed and sat on my reading table. I smiled and chuckled
“What’s funny” she asked.
“Nothing. I was gonna ask you to make yourself comfortable but I see you have already” she smiled back almost seductively. I like where this is going.
“Can I see a picture of your ex?” she asked
I was surprised – No! – I was shocked
I didn’t say a thing. I opened a shoe box at the far corner of the room and brought out a collection of my ex’s pictures. I had packed them all and stored it there only last week. I picked the envelope containing the pictures and there I saw a stash of my condom collection. This is a good omen. My heart began to beat faster.
I handed her the envelope. Our hands brushed. And our eyes met for two uncomfortable seconds. She smiled and looked away.
“What’s that smile” I asked, sitting on the arm rest, her body leaning on mine. She did it so comfortably like she’s been doing that since forever.
She didn’t look at me as she spoke “I have a funny feeling we’re going to be very close.” She said. Her voice was low and decidedly sensual. She brought out the pictures…
“Wow! Your ex is beautiful” she exclaimed. “What’s her name?”
I laughed out loud. “What’s funny” she asked, smiling
“First, you hit on me, you claim you like me. Then, you think we’re going to be close. And now, you want to know my ex’s name…” I paused and smiled for effect while she waited for what I was going to say next,
“…and you don’t even know my name”
